Getting Past the Fear of Judgement

Have you ever thought as you were creating something, "Oh, great. Someone is going to see this. Someone I know is going to see this. What will they think of me?" 

Maybe you haven't, or maybe you have, but you go ahead creating just as you want to because the possibility of someone you know judging you based on the content of your work doesn't scare you. If that's the case for you, way to go. Seriously. Your work is most incredible when it is as you intended it to be. Unfiltered. (Notice I didn't say unedited). 

For me, the idea of someone I know - someone I love - seeing something in my writing or my art and judging me as a person for it is terrifying. 

It's not something that goes away easily, either. I know that my works - my art, my scenes, my characters - are always best when they come to be naturally. Letting go of that fear of judgement is a continual process that I'm constantly striving for. 

If I had to put a name to this almost physical reaction to imagining someone I know judging my work, I'd call it the fear of being unworthy. I worry that if I write this kissing scene in, or I have a character that swears a lot, someone I know is going to read it and think, "Wow. I had no idea Brey was like that..." 

This is the same reason it's taken me seven years to tell people, "I'm an author. I have published my work." 

If you've experienced this panic when your writing comes up around someone you know, you are not alone. 

Now that we've gotten into all of that, let's talk about some things that I've learned to help me get past this feeling so that my work and my conversations are true to themselves - and also things that I can be proud of.

First: When I'm imagining my characters, my scenes, or my overall story, I ask myself, "What if?" and let myself write the ideas that come up. When I get that little nagging voice in my head telling me, "Oh, no. You can't write that!" I pause, take a deep breath, and tell that voice, "This is my story. Yes, I can. I'll write it this way, and if I​ don't like it later, I can always edit it."

That may seem easy enough, but as I said, this is a continual process that I go through often. However, having this little discussion with myself really does help me stay out of my own way. 

When it comes to recognizing myself as a published author - and not downplaying how seriously cool it is that I have published my work for the world to read - that took some brain training. I still get that little voice in my head telling me, "Brey. You can't call yourself an author. You're nowhere near as cool or as accomplished as [insert current favorite author here]." 

But now, I have some arguments to spit right back at that little voice. 

1. I am publishing my eighth book in seven years at the end of September, and its sequel is set to follow shortly after. 
2. I have grown and honed my writing, editing, designing and marketing skills. I take professional development courses to improve this craft just as I do with my day job (which I also love).

If you take anything from today's post, please take this: 

1. You are awesome. The work you produce should be written as you intend it to be. Yes, it should still be polished when you put it out, but it should be yours.
2. You are awesome. Be proud of the work you put into the world. Be proud of the growth you make. And if you're writing, call yourself a writer. If you're publishing your work (independently or traditionally), call yourself an author.

Thanks for reading! If you like what you read today, scroll down to see other posts like this one, and check back next weekend for more writing related things. If you have something to say, feel free to reach out by leaving a comment, sending an email, or getting in touch on Facebook or Instagram.