Writing - Little Things That Make a Big Difference (Showing Vs. Telling)

Hello readers, writers, teachers, and story enthusiasts! 
I apologize for not posting last week. I sat down to write this post last weekend, but I was so focused on my upcoming release that my head wasn’t totally in it, and I wanted to do better than that. So, here it is! 

Nearly everyone I’ve talked to about writing is well aware of the phrase, “show, don’t tell.” Today, I wanted to break that phrase down a bit as it relates to my writing and teaching experience.

When I was in high school, I started hearing my teachers say “show, don’t tell,” all the time. And sure, in theory, that’s great. But without explaining what that means, or why that concept is important, young writers are left with a bit of a problem. Either they feel stuck and can't figure out how to put the words on the page, or they show way too much, and their draft takes forever to get anywhere. 

Let me give you an example.

Susie is writing a short story for her English class. She writes in part of her story that her character was embarrassed. Her teacher gives feedback telling her to show that her character is embarrassed, not just tell the reader that her character is embarrassed. Often, when we tell students to show instead of telling something in their writing, the piece is often riddled with those kinds of suggestions throughout. 

Without some guidance, Susie will likely either…
A. Freeze up. She doesn’t know how to implement that feedback, or where to start. So, rather than attempting a re-write, Susie decides that her story is “good enough,” and accepts the grade she was given. This is fine, I suppose, but then Susie will miss out on an opportunity for growth - an opportunity to put in her best efforts. 

B. Susie decides that she wants to attempt a rewrite and give her best quality writing another go. She sits down to address all the areas that need to be shown. And this is what it looks like:
Esmarelda takes a deep breath. Feelings of uncertainty flood her. She covers her face, which is now red and hot. Her eyebrows make a crease in the center of her forehead. “I shouldn’t have said that!” She thinks. She uncovers her eyes and they dart around the room, looking out for signs that people are mocking her.

Now, that description in and of itself is not bad. In fact, when I was teaching English, that’s exactly the kind of writing and re-writing I encouraged. I wanted my students to get out of their comfort zones and work on their descriptions. However. The trouble comes when writers get confused and try to show every little thing. This makes their work unnecessarily slow and difficult to read. 

It’s okay to tell some things. It’s okay to say that the walls are green instead of trying to describe the precise color, texture, and lighting. It’s okay to say that it’s dark outside rather than describing the pitch of the darkness, what time it is, and what that darkness looks like on every object. Not everything needs to be written out in such exquisite detail.

Now, personally, I love to read these beautiful descriptions. But there has to be a balance. Here are some questions that I ask myself when I rewrite, and others when I edit their works, to give some more direction:

What is the character thinking?
What are they feeling - physically and emotionally?
What does their body language look like? 
What else is going on?
What do we see right now?
What do we hear?
What of the other five senses can we tap into?
Are other characters doing anything right now? 
Is this important to the story? If the answer is yes to this final question, if it drives the story or motivates the characters, it's likely worth slowing things down to show.

When we have too little showing, we have a story that feels rushed and incomplete, and readers have a difficult time feeling connected to the characters and the setting. When we have too much showing, the story drags, and readers want to skip ahead or put the book down altogether. 

For teachers and editors out there: it is definitely okay to ask your students to "show don’t tell." It’s okay to ask them to expound upon certain things as they hone their writing skills or develop their work. But, I ask that you also take just a moment to explain what kind of showing you would like to happen - let the writer know what you feel is missing. Ask them questions, so they know where to start and what needs to be developed. Not only will you be helping them develop this piece you’ve given feedback for, but you’ll also have taught them some critical thinking skills that will, hopefully, transfer to their future writing endeavors. 

Thanks for joining me again this week! If this post was interesting to you, check back next weekend! I'll be writing about the process I go through for writing and re-writing dialogue.